The Last Spam You'll Ever Need
Over the past 2 months, I've spent way too much time fighting spam. Now, I could go off on a rant about how spammers are a bunch of wannabe thugs who could make more money flipping burgers and playing World of Warcraft in their mom's basements than they do stealing from people who work for a living, but I'm not going to do that. Instead, I've decided to save us all time and trouble by taking the 1000s of spam emails I've had to filter through recently and combining them into one ultimate spam. Enjoy:Very Very Urgent. Hot nights are guaranteed.Helo, dear Friend.
Greetings to you in the name of our heavenly God. This mail might come to you as a surprise and the temptation to ignore it as unserious could come into your mind. So in order to avert a negative development, we will give you confidence to meet the challenge of any woman. For all real men in the world... get ready for action in 15 minutes!
Bacheelor, MasteerMBA, and Doctoraate diplomas available in the field of your choice. There is no need to be aware of quality. Time is money. Watches are the necessity. "Take a look a this. Seriously, it CAN help people!" she said at 7th African conference in Cape Town.
With barker my imagination experienced. Or it superb curious uterus. Not watt canned. Or transmitter a obituary. But very Is skate. In is flawless auditor, reason or archery. No parkland? Go navy.
Girls don't like you? We have a solution! Be the stud in 2008, get crazy bonus!, join today. Win, win, win with us - really casino. Make your corn bigger - u will be amazed!! Product is limited, hurry up! (Girlfriends not attached!)
[Insert Link Here]
I wait your urgent response.
Hannah Smith
· Friday, June 6"...superb curious uterus"
Just brilliant :)
Dr. Pete
· Friday, June 6@Sean: I live right next to the bridge where the Dave Matthews' Bands bus dumped sewage on tourists. I'd be happy to sell it to you :)
@Hannah: You can't make that stuff up :) The scary thing is that most of that paragraph came from one email.
MikeTek
· Friday, June 6Oh man, this is the best thing I've seen in weeks.
"There is no need to be aware of quality."
I love the misuse of the English language.
I was once in Chinatown wandering around and passed a "medicine" shop. In the window was a box of pills with an attractive and scantily-clad woman on the label. It read, "Make Dreams Really."
Dr. Pete
· Friday, June 6@MikeTek Since I've been trying to learn Chinese, I definitely sympathize with people for whom English is a 2nd language, but some of the misuses really come at funny times. You forget how tricky and nuanced marketing language is until you see someone try to write low-budgeting marketing in a language they don't know.
MikeTek
· Friday, June 6@Dr. Pete Definitely - I'd never presume to write marketing copy in another language. I wrote my friend a birthday card in Spanish the other day as a joke. It translated, "Where is the shoe store? The lemon is very big. Happy birthday." That's about the extent of my prowess in another language.
I'm sure Chinese is very difficult to learn - but I think we'd all be wise to start studying.
Dr. Pete
· Friday, June 6@MikeTek When we were in Taiwan, I asked someone "Could you help me think of a bottle of water?", which my wife thought was hilarious. I had to remind her of the time in Paris when she asked "Is it that we can serve breakfast on the train?"
MikeTek
· Friday, June 6Haha - that's great. I think I need to get out of the country more often.
Dr. Pete
· Saturday, June 14@Jane: That makes two buyers. Maybe I have a career in affiliate marketing after all :)